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Insights by Peaceful Island

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Pubic Speaking & Self Confidence - Release Fear & Deliver Your Best

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Are you terrified at the idea of speaking in front of others? Do you have to speak in front of others soon and are terrified? You are in the right place if you are afraid of failing in front of others. You are in the right place if you feel at times like your voice has been taken from you.

For an Self Confident Speaker a group is a collection of 1-on-1 dialog happening simultaneously with many at once. Everyone becomes a participant in a larger group context. And this is referred to as the “energy of the room.” Group dialog or public speaking is a great way to give the message once in an efficient way. Does this make sense, so where is the failure. Why do people fail, choke, freak out, bomb is a question of process.

Success & Defining Success

Successful speaking is defined similarly as the way a successful person defines success. There is progress and learning that leads to a successful outcome. Success is a range of outcomes rather than the binary light switch that is either on or off. Success or failure.

To “succeed” on a regular basis the person needs to reduce and eliminate personal judgement about progress. Everyone knows how to learn free from self judgement by learning how to walk and speak because in both circumstances you had Purpose.

It needed to be done and success was a range of outcomes. It was more a matter of to what expanse does a person succeed with "languages" or with "physical abilities".

Success Progress

Defining success as progress plus learning plus effort is a natural path for speaking in front of others. And this is very do-able by everyone... including you.

People have a natural need for Self Confidence. Self Confidence is based on two key habits. Doing these two habits guarantees Self Confidence which is a key to successful outcomes like speaking.



Self Confidence Is Natural

Creating Self Confidence happens naturally. Find someone that is Self Confident ask them. One can see that there is a gravity pulling you in to this positive state. However, Self Confidence itself is an active state. It is a state of activity. Self Confidence is not passive nor does it happen by chance, this is what every Self Confident person acknowledges universally.

The path to feeling Self Confident happens with two Key Habits: the first being Self Care.

Many people have a block about expressing oneself or a fear of speaking in front of others. Where does this block come from.

It comes from the belief that others will not benefit from hearing nor have interest in learning what is being said. In most public speaking situation it is totally the opposite. Clearing this block is essential to successful outcomes speaking with others. Self Care is Key.

The Self Care Key

The First Key Habit to Self Confidence is doing Self Care. This daily habit naturally brings to the surface the value in ones existence. It naturally brings forward the uniqueness and fascinating parts of the person because you are fascinating yourself with yourself. And the Self Image adjusts to this new truth.

If this is new for you there are tools that support and encourage with Self Care to get it right.

The Positive Attitude Key

The Second Key Habit to Self Confidence is using a Positive Attitude. Everyone around the world has reason to feel bad, it is just a matter of degree of traumas, difficulties, and disappointments. And every person would be right, justified in the anger.

Anger is a very heavily place to live and one has to ask oneself, if I am not feeling Self Confident then what is the opposite of Self Confidence... At the beginning of the day the choice about attitude starts. The answer to this question creates momentum through the day in one direction or the other Positive and Negative.

How this Attitude question is answered during the days effects the Self Confidence. In basic terms, Positive attitude gives High Self Confidence, High Self Worth, High Self Esteem. A negative one gives feelings of very Low Self Worth, Low Self Esteem, Low Confidence, Low Sense of Purpose. Does the attitude seem obvious and can you see how momentum is created.

If living in these low, heavy feelings a person hits a moment when they realize, "hey, why am I feeling so bad." For those that follow the Positive Attitude approach to situations, everything can turn out right in the end simply because work and shaping keep going until the end result works out in a favorable way. Which is the way of saying, I am the best person to make decisions and to take care of myself. In Public Speaking this holds true.

Speaking in-front of others is the mechanical way to look at this process. Writing an outline is also mechanical just like choosing the content of the presentation. Each of these steps can contain judgement, but put on your Baby thinking and let go of the judgments for a moment. What is the end result? Not clapping, not having survived. The end result is the appreciation given back to you for what you gave. What you are able to give is your new Purpose.

Focusing on these two things: giving of yourself to others + Self Care and you have the ingredients to prepare and to deliver. This is Purpose + Preparation for giving. The others Receive and Give Back Appreciation.

If this is new for you there are tools that support and encourage with using a Positive Attitude to get it right.

Distress & Eustress

I’m So Stress Out!!

Not all stress is the same. What do you think the process is like for the World’s Top Athletes before they enter the Stage... Part of what makes them winners is knowing a Secret about Performance. Do you want to know this secret... If you want to know the secret that winners know that makes them winners then keep reading.

Eustress and Distress, what is the difference?

Stress makes magic happen, but there needs to be a clear line to separate the Magic Stress from the bad stress.

  • Distress as defined by Merriam-Webster: pain or suffering affecting the body, a bodily part, or the mind

  • Eustress as as defined by Merriam-Webster: a positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being.

  • Stress as defined by Merriam-Webster: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. Mental, Emotional Strain no wonder there is confusion.

Becoming aware of Eustress is a mind altering, game-changing realization because it automatically divides the "stress" load into distressful things, which then becomes much more specific and fixable. And then there are Eustress that are important and encourage Self Development. Weights make big muscles and are stressing. Reading books is stressing. Writing and practicing a speech is stressing.

A Challenge eu-stresses person to develop what is needed to perform the job. Failure is the not preparing and not listening to the inner signals supporting and encouraging you to prepare with your abilities. Success is moving in the right direction as many times as needed to prepare. These steps depend on the two keys: Self Care and a Positive Attitude

Benefits Of Eustress

Eustress is good for you. It is a pushing mechanism to encourage people to become the best versions of oneself and to put the best foot forward as Habit.

"I am so stressed" means that inner voices are asking for take active steps and these inner voices are being shut down, ignored, dismissed. Resistance to taking positive steps and shutting down the inner signals encouraging progress are root causes of distress, depression, and anxiety.

To become Self Confident listen to these voices they always have your best interest at Heart. Shutting down these inner voices by oneself is the process chipping away at Self Confidence and Self Worth that takes ones voice and makes a person feel worthless. This is completely fixable.

If you care about Top Performance then you must understand the role of STRESS or Eustress to get you there.

Top Speaker Performance

Eustress is the Speaker’s Best Friend. To speak in front of others is the same sequence of Performance Steps as the Top Athlete.

For the Athlete, Preparation develops Self Confidence and Eustress leads to the Top Performance. For the Athlete, Eustress plays a role in the actual moment of throwing the ball or making the jump. However at this point this is more a series of prepared-automatic interactions that this player has digested, taken in, integrated over time to become part of the player. Basketball’s Best Player of All Time, Michael Jordan missed half of all of his shots making 50 of 100, 50% success. He just kept shooting to get more points and making more baskets. To make baskets one has to shoot.

Top Players know this Secret which is why they become Top Players. They feel Eustress and they use it to prepare, to get out of bed at 4.30 am and to train in the dark before everyone is awake. The top players do more preparation before the World wakes up than many other players do all week. This is a positive attitude that makes sure the end results work out in a successful outcome.

Top Athletes are winners. They are successful because of the Two Keys: Self Care and a Positive Attitude. The Positive Attitude is kept day after day because of the Eustress and the energy that comes with unlocking and flowing with Eustress. While distress blocks energy, Eustress sets it free. Eustress channels this energy which becomes Flow energy.


To become Self Confident listen to these voices they always have your best interest at Heart. You must understand the role of STRESS or Eustress to get you to your Personal Best enabling you to give Top Performance. Being aware of the difference between Distress and Eustress is a Secret Trick Up Your Sleeve to top performance. Resistance to taking positive steps and shutting down the inner signals encouraging progress are root causes of distress, depression, and anxiety.

It consumes and blocks a lot of energy to judge and to persist a negative judgement on oneself. It consumes the mind, the focus, and concentration. The road to success follows admitting a better way and and then adjusting quickly. For successful people failure only happens when giving up completely.

Self Care makes sure that you feel good about you, and that you are "good". The Positive Attitude makes sure you are always putting your best foot forward each day and in each situation. The prep is done You’re Ready To Go- like in speaking to others.

Being this Best Version of Yourself on the daily basis means you have listened to your inner signals, you can respond to anything, and you can perform up to the standard needed to turn things out positively. It is possible and you can do what is needed. There are more tools to help with building a strong Positive Attitude and protecting against negative forces that cause you distress. These tools help free up your energy and to get into Performance Flow, keep high levels of Self Confidence, and block negative people, negative situations to reduce your distress down to calm.

Take Care of the Self and Be Positive, you have all of the pieces needed to give the best version of your speech. You'll be pleasantly surprised how good it feels when people come up to you and thank you for what you have given them. Just imagine what happens to your Self Confidence... Now go… practice practice practice...

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